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Understanding Yourself in Relationships

Feelings and Reactions Behaviour Check

Notice how you handle feelings, reactions, empathy and repair after difficult moments.

Important: This free behaviour assessment is for awareness and guidance. It is not medical, psychiatric or legal advice. If you are facing abuse, trauma symptoms, self-harm thoughts or immediate danger, contact a qualified professional or emergency support in your area.

1. I notice what I am feeling before I react in close relationships.

Examples you can observe:

Name the feeling before speaking.
Separate what happened from what I assumed.

Almost never Rarely Sometimes Often Almost always

2. The other person notices what they are feeling before they react in close relationships.

Examples you can observe:

Names the feeling before speaking.
Separates what happened from what they assumed.

Almost never Rarely Sometimes Often Almost always

3. I pause before reacting when feelings are strong in close relationships.

Examples you can observe:

Take a few breaths before replying.
Leave the room for a short break instead of shouting.

Almost never Rarely Sometimes Often Almost always

4. The other person pauses before reacting when feelings are strong in close relationships.

Examples you can observe:

Takes a few breaths before replying.
Takes a short break instead of shouting.

Almost never Rarely Sometimes Often Almost always

5. I try to understand the other person before judging in close relationships.

Examples you can observe:

Ask what the other person meant.
Notice if someone sounds hurt, tired or worried.

Almost never Rarely Sometimes Often Almost always

6. The other person tries to understand me before judging in close relationships.

Examples you can observe:

Asks what I meant.
Notices if I sound hurt, tired or worried.

Almost never Rarely Sometimes Often Almost always

7. I say what I did wrong and what I will do differently in close relationships.

Examples you can observe:

Apologise for the specific behaviour.
Check later whether the other person feels better.

Almost never Rarely Sometimes Often Almost always

8. The other person says what they did wrong and what they will do differently in close relationships.

Examples you can observe:

Apologises for the specific behaviour.
Checks later whether I feel better.

Almost never Rarely Sometimes Often Almost always

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Result

Dimension scores

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