Anonymous Q&A • Community answers • Real relationship scenarios

Ask privately. Answer helpfully. Learn together.

A Quora-style anonymous relationship space where people can ask questions, read common scenarios, share answers and comment without sharing names, phone numbers or email addresses.

← Back to all questions
Safety, Abuse & Red Flags

They threaten to harm themselves if I leave

Anonymous discussion. Educational guidance only; not medical, psychiatric, legal or emergency advice.

1 answer 0 comments 2 views
?
Anonymous question

When I try to end or pause the relationship, they say they may harm themselves. I feel trapped and responsible.

IIR
IIR Guide

Threats of self-harm must be taken seriously, but they should not be handled alone or used to trap you in a relationship.

This may involve safety risk. Educational guidance is not enough when there is violence, coercion, threats, stalking, forced isolation, child safety risk, self-harm risk or serious intimidation. In such cases, prioritise immediate safety and local professional or emergency support.

Before acting, separate facts, feelings, needs and patterns. A relationship improves when people can name the pattern without attacking the person.


Practical next steps

Contact emergency services, a trusted family member of theirs or a mental health crisis resource. Do not keep the threat secret.

If there is immediate danger, call local emergency services or contact trusted people who can help you get safe. Do not rely on an online answer for urgent risk.

Community answers

What others have added

Anonymous public answers are shown after review.

No community answers yet.

You can be the first to add a thoughtful anonymous answer.

Answer anonymously

Share a practical, respectful response. Do not include names, contact details, accusations, or identifying information.

Comments

Clarifications and reflections

No comments yet. Add a brief reflection or clarification.

Common scenarios

Browse anonymous relationship questions.

Every category includes at least 10 common scenarios. Open any question to read the IIR response, answer anonymously, or comment.

Ask anonymously

Post a question in under a minute.

Write the question as a situation. Please do not include names, phone numbers, addresses, school or company names, social media handles or anything that can identify a person.

Safety note: If there is immediate danger, violence, coercion, self-harm risk, child safety risk or serious abuse, do not wait for a website response. Contact emergency services, trusted people or qualified local professionals.

Questions are reviewed before they appear publicly.

Need a deeper view?

Pair Q&A with a free assessment.

Use the discussion to understand the situation, then take a behaviour assessment to see your own pattern more clearly.