Feedback from a colleague felt personal
Anonymous discussion. Educational guidance only; not medical, psychiatric, legal or emergency advice.
A colleague’s feedback sounded like an attack on my ability. I am angry and embarrassed.
Feedback can trigger identity threat, especially when it lacks examples.
Workplace relationships work best when expectations, roles and communication channels are explicit. The aim is to protect dignity while staying professional, documented and solution-focused.
Before acting, separate facts, feelings, needs and patterns. A relationship improves when people can name the pattern without attacking the person.
Practical next steps
Ask for behavioural specifics: “Can you share one example and what you would like done differently?”
Use one calm sentence: "The pattern I want us to change is..." Then ask, "What can each of us do differently this week?"
Clarifications and reflections
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